"Babies"

This afternoon, Geoffrey spent some time with Caleb and I got to go see the "Babies" documentary. The first thing I noticed was there was no commentary. I found that odd at first, but then it occurred to me that any commentary would sway the thinking of the viewer and the true beauty of the film was its unbiased view of four different babies growing up in four different countries and cultures.

I found the depiction of the "American" baby to be a little odd. The first view of her was of the bag of fluids hanging on the pole next to the hospital bed and the shot follows the tubing that is attached to the mom and the baby laying next to her. The baby is cooing and appears to be healthy. It made me wonder if that is the norm for American births and the way we are viewed around the world. All the other birth scenes were natural. Even the Mongolian child who was born in what appeared to be a clinic, was unassisted. I would've liked to see an American baby with a natural birth story.

I found myself wondering where the parents were sometimes and it made me think about my own parenting. There was a scene with the Japanese little girl where the dad was on the computer and the mom was occupied with something else and the child was taking apart photos and CD cases, etc. Similar scenes have played out in our household as well and my first thought was "pay attention" and then when I realized how close it hit to home I rethought my negativity.

The American parents seemed to be really involved in their child and it was pretty much the only portrayal of a father.

The mothers in Namibia seemed to not really be paying much attention to the child and yet they had some amazing scenes of teaching the child. When the little boy was preparing to start walking, the mother was standing next to him with her hand out to assist. The little boy was crying and wanted to be picked up. The mother knew that he could do it, so she bent down, did not pick him up, but offered her breast for him to nurse. He nursed for a few seconds, then she stood back up, he took her hand and after a little thought he walked with her. There was also a scene later where the mother was playing a game with the little boy by placing a cup on his hand and having him walk with it balanced there. It was interesting because that is such a part of their livelihood and teaching the child how to participate in that activity at such a young age is important.

It was amazing to me to see the differences in the cultures, but also the similarities. All of the children got frustrated, interacted with other children, got into trouble, laughed, explored their world, learned to crawl, stand, walk and communicate. No matter the culture, the parenting style, or the resources available, all children are born into this world, cared for, and taught to thrive. There were things that surprised me, grossed me out, made me laugh, and reminded me of my own humanity. All in all, I really enjoyed this film.

The Single Life

I love my life, I love my child and the expectation of another, but I miss the "single" life. I liked going on dates with my husband, doing whatever I wanted to do, traveling, spending time with friends, etc. Now, even when I have the rare chance to do something by myself, or with just Geoffrey, I am thinking about Caleb or the new baby and I don't take the time to really absorb the space. Some friends of ours that we used to travel with just got back from a cruise. We saw a couple from our tribe out to breakfast on Sunday morning, as were we, but we had Caleb and were busy keeping him occupied, feeding, and then cleaning up. I thought about what their Sunday had in store and it was so different than ours. Geoffrey spent all of Saturday and Saturday night in Portland at a geek convention with friends/co-workers of his and I was left with Caleb. We had a good time, but it was so busy. We have talked about different travels for this summer, but I am starting to feel anxious about the new baby and a little frustrated that I won't get to see anybody or do anything I want to do because I am so pregnant, Geoffrey is working and flying, and that leaves me with babies. I want to run away sometimes and just be unattached and free, but I would miss what I have that I am attached to.

14-16 weeks

Well, we have somewhere between 14 and 16 weeks to go. Sometimes that seems like a long way off because 4 months is a long time, but when I think of 40 weeks versus 14, it seems much too soon. I really do love being pregnant and experiencing all of the changes and movements. I know that I will miss this belly when it is gone and I may forget the feeling of these movements someday, and I know I will miss sleeping a whole night, but I will not miss heartburn and lower back pain.

I was listening to the radio yesterday and they were giving advise to a mom-to-be for the first time. One caller told her to never forget to smell her child and remember their smell. I love the way Caleb smelled the day he was born and sometimes I just nestle under his chin or smell the top of his head, especially after his shower/bath. There is nothing like the sweet smell of a little baby, especially my own.

Caleb is growing so quickly and understanding so much every day. He is climbing everything, taking a few tumbles, and learning how to brush himself off. I learn so much from him each day. We have been working on a new discipline technique and it seems to be working. In the middle of a huge tantrum at the library I saw a book on the shelf called, "Positive Time-Out, and over 50 ways to Avoid Power Struggles in the Home and the Classroom". The premise is that kids behave better when they feel better and punitive time-out does not meet that goal. We have made a time out spot that we call the Quiet Cubby and when Caleb is acting out we ask him if he needs to go there and calm down. He usually chooses to go there on his own, where he takes a few deep breaths and comes back, shows us gentle touches or apologizes and then moves on. It is all by choice, and if he really needs to go there but doesn't choose it, we go there with him and help him calm down, but not forcing him to sit there like a punishment. We praise him for going to his cubby and for calming his body down and when he returns we ask him if he is feeling better. In the past couple days his behavior is evolving and it seems to be working. When he gets upset outside of the house, we can usually get him to take some deep breaths and only once have we had to take a quiet time in the car until he was feeling better and ready to handle the situation calmly. Now I find him taking big deep breaths even before I remind him or whenever he feels tense. It is so cute and I find myself giggling, but it truly is a good technique that will serve him later in his life. Sometimes Mommy takes a time-out too. I love learning with and from my child. Thank you God for this blessing!

Mother's Day 2010!

During my pregnancy with Caleb I didn't really like taking pictures of the belly. I felt huge and stretch marks are gross and I just didn't feel comfortable. We took a few and now I cherish them. With this pregnancy I have wanted to take a lot more photos of myself being pregnant and of the belly. Today we had our annual Mother's Day photo shoot at Avery Park and it felt so good to have some beautiful pictures taken of my pregnant form and my lovely little family. Thanks to my wonderful husband for this gift!

Just a Sunday walk in the park.

I love my little family!

Caleb loves the baby already! Here's the belly, stretch marks and all. It is not smooth and pretty like some bellies, but it is mine and it holds my precious little treasure.

I love this belly and I know I will miss it when it is gone. I also can't wait to meet the little person. I will just enjoy the journey at every stage.

Change

Change is always a challenging time in life. It is sure to be filled with excitement, apprehension, joy, fear, sadness and a variety of other feelings no matter what the change may be. Life is full of changes, large and small. Some are sudden while others happen over time.

Caleb had his first sleep over and Geoffrey and I went to the coast for the night. I cried when we left him, not because I didn't want to go, or I didn't want him to have this experience, but because our relationship to him was changing. As he grows, his need for us changes and while it feels good to know that he is secure enough to behave appropriately, I was a little sad to leave him and also happy to have 24 hours to ourselves. A change met with apprehension, sadness, and joy and it made me a better mom because after a night away I was so refreshed and excited to see him. He did so well and so did we.

My Dad and Lisa are preparing for a major change in their lives. This change brings me a bit of sadness because is means the loss of the house I grew up in and with it, so many memories. I am excited for them because they are fulfilling dreams and preparing for their future together. I know that this change brings them both some apprehension and stress as they make things happen and I wish we lived closer so I could maybe help in some way. Such is life.

I have been thinking a lot about the changes that will take place in our family in the next few months. Caleb will be asked to share our attention with another little person and we will manage to care for two people under the age of two.

Change in life is inevitable, exciting, challenging and joyous. In every change there are positives and negatives and it is all part of the journey. From babies to toddlers to children to teenagers to adults to retirement to many adventures to death; such is life and all its changes.